Loophole #7 - Do you fall into this category when trying to form a new habit?

When we’re trying to form and keep habits, we often search, sometimes unconsciously, for loopholes. We look for justifications that will excuse us from keeping this particular habit in this particular situation. However, if we recognize this behavior and catch ourselves in the act of loophole-seeking, we can avoid using the loophole, and improve our chances of keeping the habit.

There are many kinds of loopholes. Ten kinds, in fact. So every few days we will be posting about a category of loophole, to help with the Strategy of Loophole-Spotting.

Loophole Category #7: the Questionable Assumption Loophole.

A very popular loophole! Consciously or unconsciously, we make assumptions that influence our habits—and often, not for the better. They often become less convincing under close scrutiny. A reader posted a good example: “I set up weird mental blocks around my time. For instance, if it’s 9 a.m. and I have an appointment at 11 a.m. I’ll think ‘Oh, I have to go somewhere in two hours, so I can’t really start anything serious’ and then end up wasting my whole morning waiting for one thing to happen.”

·         It’s not a proper dinner without wine.

·         This is taking too long, I should be done already.

·         I can’t start working until my office is clean.

·         I need to eat a lot to get good value from this buffet.

·         I’m too busy to take the stairs. It’s faster to wait in this long elevator line.

·         The label says it’s healthy. (In one study, when a cookie was described as an “oatmeal snack,” instead of a “gourmet cookie,” people ate thirty-five percent more.)

·         If I do this, my craving will be satisfied, and I’ll stop.

·         Dramatically changing my eating habits has allowed me to hit my goal weight, so now I can return to eating normally. 

·         If I indulge now, I’ll get it out of my system.

·         People who follow strict rules will inevitably fall off the wagon.

·         It would be a good idea to test my willpower.

One very sneaky questionable assumption loophole is the assumption that a habit is so ingrained that we can ease off.  “I love my morning writing sessions so much, I’d never give them up.” Unfortunately, we have a tendency to regress, and even long-standing healthy habits can be more fragile than they appear, so it pays not to get complacent. Research shows that people tend to overestimate the amount of temptation they can face.

Do you find yourself making questionable assumptions in order to justify breaking a good habit?

Reference: “Which of These 10 Categories of Loopholes Do You Invoke?” by Gretchen Rubin, February 5, 2014.

Loophole #6 - Do you fall into this category when trying to form a new habit?

When we’re trying to form and keep habits, we often search, sometimes unconsciously, for loopholes. We look for justifications that will excuse us from keeping this particular habit in this particular situation. However, if we recognize this behavior and catch ourselves in the act of loophole-seeking, we can avoid using the loophole, and improve our chances of keeping the habit.

There are many kinds of loopholes. Ten kinds, in fact. So every few days we will be posting about a category of loophole, to help with the Strategy of Loophole-Spotting.

Loophole Category #6: the “This Doesn’t Count” loophole.

We tell ourselves that for some reason, this circumstance doesn’t “count” — but in fact, while we can always mindfully choose to make an exception to our habits, there are no magical freebies, no going off the grid, no get-out-of-jail-free cards, nothing that stays in Vegas. It’s a Secret of Adulthood: Everything counts.

·         I’m on vacation.

·         What are weekends for?

·         I’m sick.

·         I ate it off a child’s plate.

·         My wine glass wasn’t full.

·         This is a just one-time thing.

·         I ordered it for both of us, which means you’re eating half, even if I eat the whole thing.

·         I’ve totally given up drinking. Except on special occasions, and on the weekends, and when I’m out with friends.

·         I don’t even want this.

  

Do you find yourself arguing that something doesn’t “count”?

Reference: “Which of These 10 Categories of Loopholes Do You Invoke?” by Gretchen Rubin, February 5, 2014.

Loophole #5 - Do you fall into this category when trying to form a new habit?

When we’re trying to form and keep habits, we often search, sometimes unconsciously, for loopholes. We look for justifications that will excuse us from keeping this particular habit in this particular situation. However, if we recognize this behavior and catch ourselves in the act of loophole-seeking, we can avoid using the loophole, and improve our chances of keeping the habit.

There are many kinds of loopholes. Ten kinds, in fact. So every few days we will be posting about a category of loophole, to help with the Strategy of Loophole-Spotting.

Loophole Category #5: Apparently Irrelevant Decisions

It’s odd. When it comes to keeping our good habits, instead of fleeing temptation, we often arrange to succumb. In what Dr. Alan Marlatt dubbed “apparently irrelevant decisions,” we make a chain of seemingly insignificant decisions that allow us covertly to engineer the very circumstances that we’ll find irresistible.

·         I drove across town to that gourmet grocery store to buy broccoli, and I ended up buying their special cheesecake. Who could resist?

·         I’ll just check my email quickly before I go to the gym…oops, I don’t have time to go to the gym, after all.

·         I’m not going to eat anything more tonight, but I’ll go into kitchen and look in the freezer. Just curious.

·         No reason why I shouldn’t sit in the smoking section.

·         I’ll buy some scotch to have in the house in case someone stops by.

·         It’s such a nice day, it would be nice to take walk—would you look at that! I’m in front of my favorite bakery. I’m just going to step inside to enjoy the lovely smell.

·         My husband and I love to go on “all inclusive” cruise vacations, and I can’t resist the all-you-can-eat food.

A friend told me, “I know a guy in L.A. who has some trouble with gambling. The last time I saw him, he said, ‘I just lost a lot of money in Vegas.’ I said, ‘I thought you weren’t supposed to go there anymore.’ He said, ‘I’m not, but I didn’t go there to gamble.’ I said, ‘So why were you there?’ He said, ‘I bought a new car, and I wanted to take it for a test drive.’ He was absolutely serious.”

Reference: “Which of These 10 Categories of Loopholes Do You Invoke?” by Gretchen Rubin, February 5, 2014.

Loophole #4 - Do you fall into this category when trying to form a new habit?

When we’re trying to form and keep habits, we often search, sometimes unconsciously, for loopholes. We look for justifications that will excuse us from keeping this particular habit in this particular situation. However, if we recognize this behavior and catch ourselves in the act of loophole-seeking, we can avoid using the loophole, and improve our chances of keeping the habit.

There are many kinds of loopholes. Ten kinds, in fact. So every few days we will be posting about a category of loophole, to help with the Strategy of Loophole-Spotting.

Loophole Category #4: Lack of Control Loophole

We argue that we don’t have control over the situation, and circumstances have forced us to break a habit. However, usually we have more control than we admit.

Weirdly, people often have an illusion of control over things they can’t control—“If I spend a lot of time worrying, the plane is less likely to crash” “If I play my lucky numbers, I’ll win the lottery eventually” — but deny control over things they can control — “If there are free donuts in the break room, I can’t resist eating them.”

·         The dog ate my homework.

·         Someone brought bagels to the meeting.

·         I’m too stressed to deal with this now.

·         I travel all the time.

·         I’d had a few beers.

·         It’s impossible to give up sugar.

·         The subway always makes me late.

·         My favorite trainer quit.

·         My kids take up all my time.

·         We opened a bottle of wine, so we have to finish it.

·         Someone else chose this restaurant.

·         I’ve never been able to resist this.

·         I started without realizing what I was doing.

The Lack of Control Loophole is closely tied to another popular loophole…the Apparently Irrelevant Decision loophole. We’ll post that next.

Reference: “Which of These 10 Categories of Loopholes Do You Invoke?” by Gretchen Rubin, February 5, 2014.

Loophole #3 - Do you fall into this category when trying to form a new habit?

When we’re trying to form and keep habits, we often search, sometimes unconsciously, for loopholes. We look for justifications that will excuse us from keeping this particular habit in this particular situation. However, if we recognize this behavior and catch ourselves in the act of loophole-seeking, we can avoid using the loophole, and improve our chances of keeping the habit.

There are many kinds of loopholes. Ten kinds, in fact. So every few days we will be posting about a category of loophole, to help with the Strategy of Loophole-Spotting.

Loophole Category #3: The Tomorrow Loophole

This loophole depends on “tomorrow logic.” Now doesn’t matter much, because we’re going to follow good habits tomorrow.

·         It doesn’t matter what I eat now, because I’m starting a diet tomorrow. (Research shows that people who plan to start dieting tomorrow tend to over-eat today.)

·         I’m definitely on track to finish my paper on time, because starting tomorrow, I’m really going to buckle down.

·         I’ll be really frugal in January so it doesn’t matter if I spend too much in December.

·         Today I’m eating whatever I want, but tomorrow I’ll be “good.” (People tend to self-regulate day-by-day, but everything counts.)

Tomorrow logic undermines good habits by making it easy to deny that our actions clash with our intentions. It’s nice to think about how virtuous we’ll be, tomorrow. In one study, when subjects made a shopping list for what they’d eat in a week, 70 percent chose fruit instead of chocolate; when asked what they’d choose now, 74 percent picked chocolate instead of fruit.

Postponing a start may also lead to the unhelpful phenomenon of the “last hurrah.” “I’m starting my diet on Monday, so I deserve to eat anything I want until then.” Some people even fool themselves into thinking that extreme indulgence now will give them more self-control when the magic future day arrives. But eating a giant bowl of ice cream today doesn’t make it any easier to resist tomorrow, and spending an entire day watching TV doesn’t make a person feel more like working the next morning.

Reference: “Which of These 10 Categories of Loopholes Do You Invoke?” by Gretchen Rubin, February 5, 2014.

Loophole #2 - Do you fall into this category when trying to form a new habit?

When we’re trying to form and keep habits, we often search, sometimes unconsciously, for loopholes. We look for justifications that will excuse us from keeping this particular habit in this particular situation. However, if we recognize this behavior and catch ourselves in the act of loophole-seeking, we can avoid using the loophole, and improve our chances of keeping the habit.

There are many kinds of loopholes. Ten kinds, in fact. So to continue our series, every few days we will be posting about a category of loophole, to help with the Strategy of Loophole-Spotting. If you’ve missed some categories, take a look back at our previous posts!

Loophole Category #2: Moral Licensing

In moral licensing, we give ourselves permission to do something “bad” (eat potato chips, bust the budget) because we’ve been “good.” We reason that we’ve earned it or deserve it, or that some “good” behavior has offset something “bad.”

·         After the day I had, I’ve earned a nice glass of wine.

·         I’ve been losing weight steadily on this diet, so it will be okay for me to cut a few corners.

·         I’ve been so diligent about meditating, I deserve a day off.

·         I haven’t had Girl Scout cookies in years, so I should be able to have some now.

·         After all I do for others, I’m entitled to a little treat for myself.

·         I didn’t have a first course so I can have dessert. (Skipping a small green salad justifies a giant piece of cheesecake.)

·         I’ve ordered a big salad of organic fruit with my pancakes, so my meal is healthy. (This is an example of the “health halo.”)

In a particularly popular yet counter-productive variation of moral licensing, people who want to lose weight use exercise to justify eating or drinking. “I went running today, so I’ve earned a few beers.” The fact is, research shows that while exercise is very important for good health, exercise doesn’t help with weight loss; weight loss is driven by changes in diet.

Sometimes, in fact, we don’t even wait to earn or deserve something “bad”; we argue that we’re entitled to be “bad” now because we plan to be “good” in the future.

Reference: “Which of These 10 Categories of Loopholes Do You Invoke?” by Gretchen Rubin, February 5, 2014.

Loopholes - Do you fall into any of these categories when trying to form a new habit?

When we’re trying to form and keep habits, we often search, sometimes unconsciously, for loopholes. We look for justifications that will excuse us from keeping this particular habit in this particular situation. However, if we recognize this behavior and catch ourselves in the act of loophole-seeking, we can avoid using the loophole, and improve our chances of keeping the habit.

There are many kinds of loopholes. Ten kinds, in fact. So every few days we will be posting about a category of loophole, to help with the Strategy of Loophole-Spotting.

Loophole Category #1: The False Choice Loophole

In this category, two activities are posed in opposition, as though you have to make an either/or decision, when in fact, the two aren’t necessarily in conflict. Here are some examples:

·         If I join that group, I won’t have any time with my children.

·         I haven’t been exercising. Too busy writing.

·         I don’t have time to work on my draft, I’ve got too many emails to answer.

·         If I go to sleep earlier, I won’t have any time to myself.

·         I’m so busy, I’ll make those appointments once things calm down.

Even outside the context of a habits, false choices often appear as a challenge to a happiness project. Is the habit that you want to foster really in conflict with your other values? Usually, if you’re honest with yourself, it’s not.

Reference: “Which of These 10 Categories of Loopholes Do You Invoke?” by Gretchen Rubin, February 5, 2014.